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Staring Russell Crow
Directed by Ridley Scott

So based on nothing but this teaser I’m saying see it! BUT! Under these circumstances;
You think Ridley Scott has done anything good since Alien. You believe Russell Crow can act(NEWS FLASH!!!! HE CAN’T! Seriously, offer an argument. I’ll listen.). You thought Gladiator wasn’t a heinous waste of your time.

If any or all of those conditions apply I’d say you are in for one hell of a ride! Real Movie Score [(RMS)(In your estimation)] 3 ¼ stars. Action Movie Score (AMS) 27 MDK’s (Murder Death Kills, roughly the equivalent of 9-9 ½ stars AMS wise.)

NOW, For everyone too cool for Scott & Crow . . . . Go see it! Bows, arrows, swords and people ridiculously clean, shaved and fed for the period, always equals Full Blown Awesomeness! (FBA’s roughly 99 MDK’s)
I myself gave Prince of Thieves 76 MDK’s. And that trailer was all girly and stuff.

The Trailer itself gets a Teaser rating of 2 ¾ stars.

Why so low?

It is action packed with a kick ass action movie “wussy industrial” soundtrack. It even begins with an evil horse nay. Naying Plus reverb does equal super awesome except the evil horse is ridden by mortals and that is whack!

It feels as if we’re about to embark on a supernatural thriller picking up where Frodo Rapes an Owl to get revenge on Dumbledore for shipping him off to that whack ass island with all the other Misfit Toys who’ve “Seen to much, man”. BUT NO! It’s just regular schmucks on horses killing babies and stuff.

Why do I have to hear his awful voice in this trailer?

I expect the Theatrical Release trailer to bring it up a notch. That being said I’m giving it a pre-rating of 3 ½ to make up for my being a baby.

Full disclosure: I hate Gladiator and Russell Crow. I sometimes day dream about Russell being sodomized. For fun not pleasure.

That White Rapper Kid was pretty good in Gladiator though. If he Were in Robinhood it would rule! Does He even act anymore?

ummmmm…huh?
So, I am a huge advocate of not giving away too much in the trailers, but WTF? I mean, you have to give a bit of the plot away…don’t you? So we have Christina Ricci as a (possibly) dead/undead chick, Justin Long as her boyfriend, and Liam Neeson as a mortician who knows a bit more than he is letting on. THAT’S ALL! Other than that, I have NO idea what this flick is about.
Truth of the matter is, Liam Neeson hasn’t made a bad movie that I can think of, so chances are this will be pretty good. And even if it isn’t great, it will at the very least, be carried a bit by his performance. Ricci is pretty good most of the time…and Long is watchable. Some of the time (I mean, seriously…he’s been playing the same character his entire career).
I’ll check it out for the simple fact that there is a shortage of good thrillers cruising the theaters as of late.
Not much more I can say about this one…Good job piquing my curiosity…kind of?

Well, I’ll be damned. I was intrigued by the first trailer, and decided to overlook the obvious flaws due to my being such a Freddy mark…But, I’ll be damned if this trailer doesn’t have me really excited to see this movie. The look like they are doing some really interesting things with the whole “dream” concept…the whole micro naps thing is especially cool, and it seems that Haley’s Freddy voice isn’t as crappy as I originally thought. I don’t know if the movie magic people got the test results from the first trailer in, and did some tweaking or what, but Freddy sounds just a bit more real in this one. Still don’t know how I feel about Thomas Dekker seemingly taking a spot once held by Johnny Depp, but those would be pretty big shoes for anyone to fill. Plus, the obvious critique will be Haley taking on the glove and fedora. I will do my best to not compare his performance to Robert Englund’s (should I?)…If completely seperate from one another, I think Haley may bring some interesting techniques to the table. We shall see. April 30th can’t get here soon enough.

Did anyone else get a huge “Equilibrium” vibe from this trailer? That’s a good thing, by the way. I kind of felt part Equilibrium, part Gattaca, part The Island…and I am TOTALLY alright with that amalgam. Story looks like this:
Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker are repo men, collecting on unpaid MAJOR ORGANS…by any means necessary. An accident costs Law his heart, and they (they do a lot, don’t they?) unwittingly replace it a loaner, and when he can’t pay up, the boss (Liev Schreiber) sends Whitaker to collect on his former partner and friend.

OK…let’s check the formula on this one…
Law = 50/50 chance of a stellar performance
Whitaker = 100% chance of a stellar performance
Schreiber = 90% chance of a stellar performance
(these are factual numbers…with proof)

great looking visuals, nice looking action, and sci-fi (I am a sucker for a good sci-fi flick) all add to the chance that this will be a great movie.

On the other hand, while I always enjoy a good sci-fi movie, one only comes along every so often…the rest are garbage, that look good from a distance (who said Surrogates?)

I am going to give this one the benefit of the doubt. Law is coming off of a major win with Sherlock Holmes earlier this year, and the rest of the cast is awesome. All wee need is for “Hey” Jude to NOT go into 2004 mode and show up in every movie that is released for the rest of the year, thus effectively making us hate everything he is in. God, I hope he learned his lesson (coughALFIEcough).

But, this does have one major win going for it, that trumps the rest…No Channing Tatum.

This teaser is incredibly funny…Vintage Merchant/Gervais playing off each other with Gervais’s uncomfortableness and sarcasm and Merchants awkward fumbling around. Very little is given regarding the film, except that Ralph Fiennes is in it (which is a good start). It seems we can expect the same brilliant humor of the duo (plus one) that we got to see in the likes of The Office, Extras and their podcast (which, if you have never heard…kill yourself…or just listen to it…it’s really good…yeah, you probably should do the second one, don’t kill yourself).

BUT WAIT!

Here is the full trailer:

DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF???

Is that the same movie? Where did all the funny go? My lord, what a swerve.

anyway, the cast includes Ricky, Stephen and Ralph, the movie seems to be some coming of age story of some kid in Liverpool or something. We still don’t get a lot out of this trailer, but David Bowie’s “All The Young Dudes” playing in the background. Good choice of song.
Now, I am not saying that this will be a bad movie. In fact, on the contrary…Earlier today, I commended Fiennes on his ability to pick a script. This will probably be touching, and heartfelt, and moving, and all of those things that will make you girlfriend weep. But, Holy misdirect on the teaser, Batman!

Here’s what I foresee. This movie will either get tons of critical acclaim, boosting GerChant to “Good Will Hunting” status…or it won’t even make a blip on the radar of the world. I for one, hope for the former, as I think the duo are brilliant together, and I hope it leads to many more (preferably funny) collaborations from them in the future.

I hath spoken.

“Release the Kraken!”

Liam Neeson is my new personal hero, I think. He is the number one reason I think The A-Team will be quality, and he kicks all sorts of ass in this 2 minute trailer. This movie looks like one hell of a ride, and a truly (if there are any) deserving remake.

Here’s the skinny:
The mortal son of Zeus, Perseus (played by Sam Worthington), heads off on a mission to do battle with the baddies of the underworld to keep them from wreaking havoc on Earth and in the heavens. How can they muck that up? Well, I guess about a hundred different ways, but so far, it seems they are on a good path.

Cast:
Sam Worthington…………….Perseus
Liam Neeson…………………..Zeus
Ralph Fiennes………………….Hades
and a bunch of other folks.

Well!…
First…I still don’t get the Sam Worthington hate. Yes, he came out of nowhere and was attached to 2 of the biggest films of 2009…One of which is now the biggest movies of all time. AND he has a Channing Tatum feel about him…but, dude has chops. He was the only reason to see Terminator, and that is next to Christian Bale. That ain’t to shabby. Anyway…blahblahblah. If the very inspired casting of Liam Neeson as Zeus and Ralph Fiennes as Hades does not make for an enjoyable movie, I don’t know what will. It is a perfect formula, as I see it.
Worthington, cool special effects, and 3d are guaranteed to get asses in the seats…Fiennes, Neeson (and paying $15 for a 3D ticket) will keep them there, and hopefully singing praise. The only possible fumble is if they f’ up the story. But, I gotta tell you…I am confident enough in Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes’ script selections that I think we have a winner on our hands.

Verdict: Ass punting chaos, enjoyable to the last drop….This is one of those action films that the ladies will love also, so guys, make them think they picked it and you can pick the next one, too.

Well I’ll be damned…”The BlaGuyver”??…That’s pretty funny.
Here’s the low-fat…Take The Expendables, add a dash of The A-Team, throw in some Wanted and a splash of Shoot ‘Em Up and you will have something that closely resembles this trailer. Plus, Stringer Bell as the “Black MacGuyver”?…Count me in.

Cast:
Jeffrey Dean Morgan…Clay
Chris Evans……………Jensen
Idris Elba………………Roque
Jason Patric…………..Max
Zoe Saldana…………..Aisha

Let me preface this with saying, I will go to my grave confident that as of 2010, The Wire is the greatest television show ever made. That is due, in no little part, to Idris Elba. If you haven’t seen the show, or don’t know who Stringer Bell is, shame on you.

Now…We’ve seen the awesomness that is Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian in Watchmen…sure, he did a stint on Grey’s Anatomy, but I don’t hold it against him because he also did a stint in Supernatural, I believe. He is sure to get more and more recognition as the years go by. Chris Evans…eh…he’s made some lame choices (Fantastic Four), but he’s also made some good ones (Sunshine). There is NO Channing Tatum, and Zoe Saldana makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

This movie looks like everything that people are anticipating from The Expendables. The difference being, in my opinion; this won’t disappoint. This is the one to look out for. It just plays like a car wreck of carnage and fun. The cast seems way more likable than The Expendables (Steve Austin?? Really?), and they seem way more comfortable with each other. I say this is a sleeper hit. Nevermind the fact that the Andy Diggle graphic novel that this is based on is just rad…yeah, I said it.

ok…this is a bit old, but amidst all of the “Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play Spider-Man” rumors, and (500) Days of Summer’s DVD release a few weeks ago, I thought it was prudent. If anything it’s funny as hell. By the way…If you haven’t seen “(500) Days…”, do yourself a favor and see it, this video will be all the funnier if you do. It’s a relationship movie that puts the “human” back in relationships…In other words, it’s fun for a boy or a girl (kind of like Slinky)…Plus, it will give you an idea of what new Spider-Man director Marc Webb (no pun, I swear), is capable of, and why (if they really insist on a reboot), he may be the perfect person for it…plus, Zooey Deschanel is just too hot for words.